How Will I Ever Repay You?
by ShaddowDance
Summary: Spock goes into Pon Farr and a pesky crew member thwarts his attempt to meditate his way through it. Bonding, sex, mind meld stuff. Slight OOC for Spock. Slight AU in that there is no Uhura/Spock relationship. Spock/OC. Oneshot.


**AN: This is my first attempt at writing any sort of sex scene and also my first finished Star Trek fanfiction. I hope you enjoy. Victoria Kirk is a character I made up because...well actually for no real reason other than "I can." **

**I don't own Star Trek.**

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Spock was standing on the bridge arguing with the Captain when he realized something was different that day. Normally when the Captain was wrong, as he was right at that moment, Spock could speak to him calmly and logically and help his friend make a better choice. Today however Spock couldn't feel logic or reason or calmness of any variety. He felt pure rage at the choice Jim was making. To fly through Klingon occupied space was a death sentence despite the several days it would save them getting to a planet that desperately needed Starfleet's help.

"Captain" Spock's voice was sharp with the effort it was taking to maintain his emotional control "we will be of no good to the people of O'Reegi if we are destroyed on route to help them."

"We're not going to be hurt Spock. The Klingons and the Federation have a treaty and attacking us would start a full on war. Besides we'll only be in their space for an hour, maybe two at most. They won't even notice us. I'll have the ship's shields up and everyone on amber alert. Nothing is going to go wrong." Jim seemed to notice the shift in his First Officer's appearance and was trying harder than usual to convince him of his plans. It was to no avail. Spock felt the anger rising in his throat and before he knew what was happening he had landed a punch to the Captains stomach sending him back into the control panels.

"S-Spock…" Jim coughed, trying to regain his balance.

Spock looked down at his own hands, realizing what he had done and immediately left the bridge. He headed straight to the sickbay already figuring out what was wrong but still knowing logically he should be checked by a medical professional.

"Dr. McCoy." He stated when he walked through the doors. The Doctor was sitting at his desk doing some paperwork and seemed less than pleased to be bothered. Before the Doctor could even look up a young women came running around the corner and tackled the Vulcan.

"SPOCK! What are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be working?" She smiled and backed off a little knowing the Vulcan's need for personal space but seeming to remember just a little bit too late. Spock took a step back as if he had been burned and it took him a moment to reconstruct his thoughts and turn his attention back to Dr. McCoy. Normally he would have indulged the girl, his best friend, but today he was incapable of doing such a thing.

"I require a medical examination." The girls face fell at Spock's unusual reaction to her presence.

"If you haven't noticed I'm more than a little busy right now. Nurse Kirk please give Spock an examination and report any unusual findings."

"With all due respect to your head nurse I insist it be you who examines me." Victoria Kirk found herself growing more and more upset. Due to their close friendship she assisted Spock with most of his medical needs. The less strangers he had in his personal space, the better.

"I'm busy Spock. You've already had your physical this year and you are not explaining nor showing any reason as to why you would need medical attention. Either you take the examination from my head nurse or you can wait and come back later." Dr. McCoy went back to his paperwork and Victoria tried to busy herself in order to compose her hurt feelings and stay out of the spat between her friend and her boss.

"Dr. McCoy. You will enter your office and you will assist me. That is not a request." The tone of Spock's voice combined with the look of pure rage on his face managed to scare both Dr. McCoy and his head nurse enough for them both to comply. Less than a minute later Dr. McCoy was standing opposite Spock in his office.

"Doctor, I have had an emotional episode which culminated in a physical altercation with the Captain." By now Spock had surmised what was happening to him but Vulcan's are a proud and secretive people. He was not sure how to approach the subject with Dr. McCoy and hoped he could steer him in the right direction without coming right out and saying what he knew to be true.

"You dragged me in here because you had a fight with the Captain! Jesus Spock I'm a Doctor not a psychiatrist. If you have problems with the Captain go work them out on your own." Seething McCoy turned to leave but was stopped by a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Doctor, you appear to have missed the point of my statement." Spock was getting more and more agitated but he knew he had to keep control for a short while longer before he could ensure his own leave time.

"You and Jim fight all the time. As long as neither of you are seriously injured then it's none of my business and you are wasting my time." McCoy glared at Spock and waited to be released from the Vulcan's iron grip. Spock sighed, which in and of itself was uncharacteristic and decided to try a more direct approach.

"Doctor, my emotional response was out of my control. I have lost control of my emotions and I am slowly losing control of my conscious mind. I need to request a week's medical leave." At that, something clicked in McCoy's mind and he realized why Spock had been so insistent on speaking with him and not his female nurse. He briefly felt guilty for being so harsh with the First Officer but that was soon replaced with concern.

"Spock…is this…are you going through…" Spock resigned to having to say the words out loud.

"Yes Doctor, I will soon be going through Pon Farr. I would appreciate your discretion on this matter. Not many outsiders are privy to this…this state of being."

"Obviously your leave is granted Spock. How are you…do you know…what are you going…" McCoy couldn't bring himself to ask what Spock was going to do to remedy the situation.

"I intend to meditate my way through this Doctor. I will need to spend this time uninterrupted in my room."

"I'm going to have to say something to Jim at the very least. He'll need to make an announcement to the crew to ensure no one bothers you."

"I am aware of that Doctor." Spock blushed a light green and looked rather sick at the thought of Jim being let in on this problem. Despite his deep respect for the Captain this wasn't really something one shared with their friends. It was already uncomfortable enough to be discussing this with the Doctor.

Dr. McCoy picked up on Spock's unusually obvious discomfort.

"I can draft a fake medical report saying you have some sort of space flu that requires you to have bed rest and absolute quiet. The crew will still be required to stay away from your quarters and no one will know the real reason behind your condition."

"As a Vulcan, I cannot lie Doctor."

"You don't have a choice. I'll take care of the details. You are officially on medical leave. Report to your room immediately and contact me if you have any problems. This is serious Spock, you don't have to go through it alone. I'll help you the best I can." Dr. McCoy did not usually treat Spock with as much compassion but he knew that Pon Farr, if not treated, would result in death. He also knew meditation was not the easiest way to deal with the situation. Normally a Vulcan would take a mate however Vulcan's mate for life and he knew Spock would not do so unless he intended to bond with that person. Spock did not have a bondmate and clearly had no intention of finding one in the next few hours. It would have to be meditation.

Several hours later and deep in meditation Spock heard a knock on his door. A low growl from his throat indicated that he was no longer in control of his emotions and the knock was entirely unwanted and could end in extreme violence. Spock attempted to ignore it knowing the crew were told not to disturb him but he found he was unable to do so as the knocking continued and got louder and louder.

"Spock?" Nurse Kirk's voice came from the other side of the door and Spock felt his temperature rise and his stomach clench. His instincts were screaming for him to mate and the sound of a female, especially one whom he was close to on an emotional level, caused him great physical distress.

"Spock if you don't open up I'll use the medical override code. Dr. McCoy told me about your flu. I know he gave orders not to bother you but I've treated this before when I was on Vulcan studying. I can help you. Please, let me in." It was just like Victoria to assumed the rules didn't apply to her. As Jim Kirk's younger sister they shared many similar traits with their complete lack of respect for protocols being top of that list.

Before Spock could answer her the door had opened and she had stepped inside. The room was dimly lit and set to mimic Vulcan in both it's temperature and humidity. The atmosphere was not conducive to human life at all but as a nurse, and as his friend, she pushed forward.

"Spock…what are doing on the floor! You're supposed to be in bed, resting!" She immediately started running her tricorder over him. Frustration building in her as her readings came in.

"Victoria. You need to leave, NOW! That is not a request, it is an order." Momentarily Victoria was hurt but her concern for her best friend was stronger than any other emotion she was feeling.

"Your temperature, heart rate, and respiration rates are well above normal. With your condition they should be below the normal ranges. This is serious Spock. Let me help get you into bed."

"Do not touch me Victoria." Spock's voice was almost a whisper but it sounded more menacing than anything she had ever heard before. It was a tone she couldn't even imagine him using, even as he sat in front of her, seething.

"Spock…" Victoria reached out gently and touched his face. His skin seared at the sudden contact and an animalistic growl tore through him.

"Victoria. I told you to leave." Having lost all control he grabbed her and tossed her rather roughly onto the bed beside them. He was on top of her dictating the lock code to the door before she even knew what had happened.

"Spock…what are you doing? You're…" He cut her off with a rough, vicious kiss devoid of all love and emotion. Victoria was shocked and tried to push him off but he wasn't allowing her any movement. Several moments later he stopped kissing her in favour of tearing her uniform off in one fell swoop.

"Spock what are you doing! Stop!"

"I told you to go."

"Spock please, we're friends." Victoria started to sound truly scared and the emotion in her voice was enough to briefly bring some sense to Spock.

"Victoria…Pon Farr…I can't help it…you came in and…" Her eyes widened as she began to understand. In her medical studies she had interned on Vulcan and had come across Pon Farr a few times with unmated Vulcans. Although they didn't want to mate without someone they could bond with, they could lose control if they weren't very careful. She realized that touching him earlier was a mistake.

"I'm so sorry Spock. I'll go." She tried to get up but Spock stopped her. He looked like he would rather die than continue to speak, but he knew he had to. There was no turning back now.

"Victoria…the mating ritual…my body already thinks it has started. Meditation cannot help now. If I do not mate with a female, I will die." The realization of this hit her like a tonne of bricks. It was all her fault. Spock now had to choose between mating with someone he was not bonded to, or death. That was a decision she couldn't imagine a Vulcan having to make.

"Spock…" Her voice was strangled and sad but she knew what had to be done in order to save him. "I-I'll help you."

"Victoria, I would never ask that of you. It was wrong to…to violate you. Please leave before I lose myself again."

"Spock…I know…I know you don't love me." She struggled to say the truth she had always wanted to deny. "But I'm the closest person to you. Don't deny that. We both know it's true. If anyone can help you, I can. Please. Let me help you Spock. Please." By the end she was begging, praying that somehow she could convince him to choose life over death.

Spock hesitated for a few more seconds. This was the only logical answer, and Vulcans are always ruled by logic.

"It…will likely not be pleasant for you. If we continue…I will not be able to control myself. It will be like it was before you stopped me." Spock looked so disgusted with himself that Victoria could have cried. She wanted to cradle him like a small child and make everything okay, but she knew that wouldn't help.

"I know Spock…I know. It's okay. I can handle it. For you." It wouldn't be okay. She loved him like she had never loved anyone else before. She had always imagined what it would be like to make love to him, to have him bond them, to be with him. That dream had seemed unattainable before, but now it seemed downright impossible. They would be lucky if their friendship survived what was about to happen.

Spock's searing hot kiss broke her train of thought and although it was rough and fast and full of need, she noticed that it was also slightly more tender and loving. Maybe he wasn't completely lost to her after all.

Spock tore his lips from her mouth and started leaving a train of burning hot kisses down her neck; biting, sucking, and leaving behind him a trail of bruises that she would have a hard time explaining in the morning. She could feel slight pulses of feral need rippling through her that she knew weren't her own but that only made her want him more.

"Spock!" She cried out as he started to suck rather roughly on one of her nipples. She wasn't quite sure when he had removed her bra but suddenly she wasn't thinking about that any more. Spock was ripping her tights to shreds leaving her almost naked underneath him.

In less than a minute Spock had torn off his own clothing and what was left of hers and was back to kissing her, touching her. His hands roamed to places she had never experienced before and she found herself becoming slightly scared.

Within a second of those thoughts passing through her head Spock had jumped backwards, almost like he'd been shocked. He was flushed green, panting, sweating and sporting an uncomfortably large erection, but for the time being he appeared to be himself again.

"You…Victoria…you've never…been with anyone…" The blood fever was starting to set in and it was causing him extreme discomfort to control his emotions and his actions but he knew he had to.

"Spock…" Suddenly realizing how naked she was, Victoria tried to cover herself with the blankets surrounding her. "Spock your life is worth way more than my…you know…" She blushed and looked away. The truth was that she had been saving herself…just in case her best friend ever started to look at her the way she had hoped he would. It wasn't supposed to be like this, but if she could save his life, she'd do anything.

"Victoria. It would be…illogical to continue with this plan…" Spock's breathing was getting sharper and she knew he was losing control again. She only had one option and that was to knock out his senses completely. Get him to comply so he would save himself.

In one fell swoop she had tackled him and was lying on top of him kissing him everywhere she could reach. His erection was pressing quite demandingly into her leg and she knew eventually she would have to deal with that but not quite yet.

She reached up and dragged a fingernail down the outside of his pointed, green tinged ear. In return Spock shuddered and grabbed her hips so hard she was sure they were already bruising. They each let out a strangled moan as Victoria made her way down Spock's body leaving kisses as she went. The Vulcan's breathing was getting shorter, more erratic, and every so often he would moan in approval with what she was doing.

Before she could stop to think she took his length into her mouth, receiving a low growl of approval from her friend-turned-lover. It was scorching hot, just like his kisses had been and she found that she actually enjoyed the act a little bit more than she really wanted to admit. While inexperienced she prided herself on being a quick learner and soon found what Spock liked, what he loved, and what drove him to insanity.

Before she knew it she was lying on her back again, Spock kissing her and suddenly there was a pressure way too close to pain between her legs. Spock hadn't lied. He was unable to think clearly, unable to take the time to learn her body. He was trying too much, too fast and the roughness caused her to cry out in pain and tear up just a little bit.

Spock was too far gone to notice and he just kept trying until finally he succeeded. She was sure there was going to be tearing and she wasn't sure what she was going to say to Dr. McCoy when she needed to be fixed up but all of that was gone when his mouth was back on hers again.

Slowly the pain turned to pleasure as Spock settled into a steady rhythm that hit all the right spots. She found herself moaning again and bucking her hips into his thrusts trying to meet him. Spock placed a hand on her hip and firmly kept her pinned to the bed so that only he could move and he was met by moans of satisfaction and protest.

Victoria reached her mouth up to start licking and sucking on his ears. It was this that caused Spock to finally unleash all of the tension he had been holding onto as he released himself deep inside her, riding out his orgasm for almost a full minute before he collapsed next to her, pulling her in tightly so that she'd know she wasn't forgotten about.

After a few moment his breathing evened out and Victoria managed to sneak away to the bathroom to clean herself up. Looking in the mirror she's surprised to find that as she's been methodically cleaning herself up she's also been crying just a little bit. Taking a few more minutes to wash her face and clear her mind she returns to the bedroom to check on her friend, on her Spock. She pulls out her tricorder and runs it over his sleeping body. His heart rate, temperature, and respiration rates had all dropped back down to their normal levels and she sighed in relief. He'd been lucky this time, but she knew he would eventually have to find a bond mate and that thought caused the tears to come back. Blinking them away fiercely she started gathering all the clothes that had been discarded. It seemed that most of them were beyond repair and she wasn't exactly sure what to do about covering herself.

About half an hour later she found herself wearing a pair of Spock's regulation pajamas; cleaning his room absentmindedly. The two had made quite a mess with the ripped up clothes and the few possessions Spock had managed to knock off his night stand while he had been ravaging her. She blushed a deep red, remembering the look in his eyes as he thrust into her.

Shaking her head she went back to Spock who was still sleeping peacefully and ran her tricorder again, desperate to ensure that he really was safe. Just as her readings came in giving her peace of mind Spock awoke, bolting straight up and nearly jumping out of the bed. Suddenly she wished she'd have left instead of hanging around trying to take care of him.

"Victoria." His voice was raspy and slightly weak. Nothing like it's normal cool and composed sound.

"I'm sorry Spock. I should have left…" She turned to leave but felt a strong, warm hand on her shoulder. The touch made her quiver with longing but she managed to control herself as she turned around.

"Victoria." Spock pulled her into the first hug he had ever initiated between them. She gasped in shock before letting herself settle down into his arms, losing herself in the feeling of his chest against her cheek. "I am incredibly sorry for what I have put you through."

"Spock…it was no big deal." Victoria found herself uncomfortable once again.

"It was not, as you put it, no big deal. You saved my life, I will never be able to repay you for that." Spock reached out to touch her face and feeling no surprise when he felt the rush of emotions flow from her mind into his. The longing, the need, the desperation, the caring, the want, the love. Especially the love.

Spock cupped her cheek with his hand and bent down to kiss her, completely different from before. This kiss was soft and caring and all about her. Her eyes widened briefly before she melted into the kiss. Greedily sucking at his lower lip and clutching tightly to his body.

When they finally pulled apart Victoria was more than a little surprised.

"Spock…why?" He pressed a finger to her lips to silence her and they both felt a spark go through them.

"I have always loved you Victoria, however I have always been unsure as to how to proceed in a relationship with a human. I will admit to wishing we could have come together under more pleasant circumstances, but I am grateful for you none the less." Before Victoria could respond his fingers were on her face and she could feel a brief brush against her mind. Suddenly the room melted away and all she could do was feel. Spock's mind was there alongside hers. All the nights they had spent talking, all the things he had taught her, all the times she had healed him, everything they had ever been through and how he felt about them flowed through her seamlessly. Shining brighter than all of them was the love. The love he had always felt for her.

When they awoke several hours later, naked and cuddled together like nothing could ever separate them, she found she was quite glad to be sharing her mind with her best friend.

Fin.


End file.
